Like a mummy

Yesterday I went to the hospital and Doc Wesley required the drain to be removed... Despite the drain was still plenty of fluids, my little body was already expelling the tube and it was hurting and aching...

I’m free of the drain! When I was taking off the drain I was impressed because there was at least 20 cm of tube inside the skin! But it doesn’t hurt to take off the tube!

After I removed the drain they bandaged me... Take a look, that’s funny....

I'm a little mummy right? hahahahaha....

Details: I can not dampen these bandages in 3 days.... In other words.... I'm looking like a mummy and in a few days I'll be smelling like a mummy....... kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

9th Bia's Health News

From: Beatriz
Subject: 9th Bia's Health News
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2010 17:50:22 -0200

Beloved and cherished ones,

Sorry for the delay in sending news!
Many things have happened since the last newsletter, but in the end everything worked out!J
The surgery should have been done on Tuesday but it only happened on Wednesday, because:

1. The doctors found an alteration on my liver, which at first my doctor thought it was some accumulated fat on liver (even as a side effect of chemo... It is not enough being fat out side.... I had to be fat inside too.... hahahaha.....)
2. An MRI was performed Tuesday morning on the liver. What confirmed it was a lump and not fat on liver
3. My doctor, as always very careful, decided to postpone the surgery and talk to experts in the area of the abdomen.... After that all my treatment would be rescheduled
4. On Tuesday at 11pm, my doctor was able to return to the room and talk to me (poor guy, he was tired after a full day of surgeries). It was concluded that the lump was not malignant (like Doc Wesley said, nothing in medicine is 0% or 100%), because it was not caught in the PET CT test. It is probably a ball of blood or something... This node will be monitored to prevent anything else. He also informed me that the surgery would be done the following day at 7pm
5. On Wednesday I went down at 9:30 am to do the tests and preoperative markings and only came back to the room at 4:30pm... I did the needling that is the injection of substances in and around the tumor (or what's left of it), placing a steel wire (does the breast look so fallen so that only rises to the base of the steel wire ?.... kkkkkkk) and injection for localization of sentinel lymph node (and then they paint the skin with a dye to mark where it is.... lol)
6. At 6:30pm I went to the operating room and returned to the bedroom at 1:30am... Everything went well and as usual I left the operating room chatting... But I slept for a few moments.... In one moment I awoke, I was shaking a lot, but it was not feeling cold then asked for one of the nurses to take away the heat that was warming me up.... hahaha... That's when I discovered I was using super sexy 7/8 socks... lol..... Look what a luxury.... or better luuuuuuuuuust.... kkkk... kidding.... This is against thrombosis stockings... hahaha....
7. The surgery also caused to the operated breast: a little higher up and slightly turned to the side... sniiiiiiif...... I'm cockeyed... kkkkkkkkk..... Ok, ok... It can not really being noticed... hahaha... but I told them to put the breast back to the axis  int the plastic surgery... kkkk... they promised me they will get them to the nines! Hahahaha....
8. I left the hospital on Friday... I came home and everything is going well.
9. Got to get back to the hospital two times a week for them to verify the dressings... The final result of pathological anatomy is not ready yet... But I must have this result on Monday. 10. I have a drain, which is what really bothers me... But that's okay.... It's better than leaving everything inside my body let it swollen and painful eh? J
11. I have the direction to move the arms (but not force anything or pick up weights) for the arm not to swollen.... kkkk.... I've thought it woulf be ridiculous to have A Popeye's arm! Kkkkk .... Nooooooooooooooo...... lol

I think this is all.... Now I will rest the Popeye's arm... hahaha... but as I promised, I am available to work bosses (Elias and Luciano) J
Remember that I update it, so access: http://ocancermefezumapessoamelhor.blogspot.com/

oxoxoxoxox
Bia

Postsurgical

Today has been a week since I had the surgery!

I went up to the surgery center at 6:30 pm and went down again to my room at 1:30 am… I went back wearing sexy 7/8 socks..... Look how beautiful.... hahahahaha.... It is elastic socks against thrombosis... lol

The shoulder blades and back hurt a lot because of the position on the operating table... Yeah, I was like Jesus Christ on the cross... But my luck is that He was there by my side and I came into this life... hahaha... You're not rid of me guys! hehehe....

I'm still with the drain, which is what really bothers me.... but all right, because the surgery was a success: only one quadrant and the lymph nodes were removed... The prosthesis was maintained... The operated breast that was is a little higher and bended to the side.... kkkkkkkkkkkkk.... I am cockeyed.... kkkkk.... I’m kidding it is not so noticeable.... But this will be fixed in plastic surgery... hahahahaha....

On Monday I went to the hospital to check the bandages and everything is fine too!

The orientation is that I move my arms (not above the shoulder line and wide open with arm) so I do not get the a swollen arm.... kkkkkkk ... Think! Visualize me with A sailor Popeye arm... kkkkkk..... I don’t accept!

Surgery TODAY!

Hummmm.... So... hehehe.... Yesterday Doc. Wesley informed me that I would be operated at 7 pm today.... hehehe ....

The nodule in the liver was nothing serious.... It was not fat, but it was not anything malicious... As he said, nothing in medicine is 100%, but it was discussed at lot... And the node will be monitored.

Well... Today I had breakfast and went down to the needling and markings for surgery.

I returned to my room just now... And in two hours will go to the operating room!

Needling section is not a cool thing... hahahaha.... Do you happen to know that a steel wire is placed in me? Hahahaha... Does the titties are so fallen that can only be raised with steel wire? kkkkkkk.....

And not only that! hahaha.... As a toast you win injection of t things into the tumor.... Injection of things around the tumor... And you also get a painting on the skin where it is the sentinel lymph node! hahahahaha....

The surgery should take about 3 hours... So.... Once I get back and I’m able to hit the keys on the notebook, I promise I update the blog again!

Surgery postponed

Today’s post is brand new! hehehe

The surgery would be today. Correct? Correct!

But... My doctor called me yesterday morning and asked me to intern at night as it appeared a sort of lump on liver... However, there was a chance of this node, in fact, be an accumulation of fat in the liver as a side effect of chemo.

Hahahaha.... If it's to be a fat woman, I have to be a full fat one... Fat nside and outside.... hahaha...

Can you imagine that fat accumulation in the liver can cause cirrhosis... kkkkkkk.... Are you aware that I could have cirrhosis without even drink alcohol? hahahaha.... This is the end? I should have drunk a looooooooooooooooooooot... At least I would have had moments of pleasure..... hahhahaha.....

Well.... I interned last night and today very very very early in the morning I did an MRI.... The result: It is a nodule.... It is not fat! hehehe

Because of this diagnosis (the node that had never appeared before in any other test) surgery is suspended.... My doctor is reviewing the case with the abdominal surgery team, which is more specialized in that part of the body, to resolve what will be done of MY little body... hehehe...

Probably a biopsy or other test will be done... But that I'll only know later.

As soon as I know, I tell you!

One of the truths I learned about life

I received an email that was like this:

"The fate unites and separates people, but nothing is so powerful to make people forget those that for some reason, one day made us happy.

There comes a time in life when you know

WHO IS IMPORTANT TO YOU,

WHO NEVER WAS,

WHO IS NO LONGER, AND

WHO ALWAYS WILL BE. "

This is one of the truths of life that I fortunately had the opportunity to have revealed to me! I thank for this disease to have the opportunity to increase my awareness and recognition of this type of thing, which, despite being something very concrete, I spent years without noticing.

It may seem silly... It may seem too obvious... But most times we do not take to our lives what is most valuable.

8th Bia's Health News

From: Beatriz

Subject: 8th Bia's Health News

Date: Mon, 8 Nov 2010 18:53:25 -0200

Beloved and cherished ones,

I'm back and I have many news:

1. The last chemo on 11/10 was very good.... but it last a life time... But it was great... I thought the hospital would be all mine because of the holiday... But I was wrong it was full as hell... hahaha.... Everyone decided to have the holiday in the hospital.... Go to the beach.... Go to the club..... Gee!! Leave the hospital for me.... hahahaha .....

2. I'm feeling really good... Even though I still have muscle pain... But Doc Wesley said that is normal

3. I had mini bread feet... lol.... Do you know when you crush a mini bread? Yeah.... My feet look like these mini bread... I pressed and they did not return to the place.... hahahahahaha.... but during thelast week they were much better...

4. Last week I made a zillion preoperative tests... they took too much blood and injected radioactive substances... hahaha.... I should be fluorescent so far!

5. Tuesday 11/16 I will do the surgery... 7 in the morning I'll be in the hospital..... Starving... kkkkk....

6. I will probably stay in hospital until thursday... Buuuuut... Doc Wesley said that he will let me go home on Wednesday if I'm OK.... hehehe..... To be OK is to recover from surgery and anesthesia... hahaha.... If he will wait until I stop talking nonsense to send me home.... I think I even live in the hospital... hahaha....

7. Visits... YES, COME TO VISIT ME !!!!! Whether at home or at the hospital!!

Hospital: Monday to Sunday from 10am to 9pm - AC Camargo (Cancer's Hospital) Rua Professor Antonio Prudente, 211 - Liberdade - Phone: 55 11 2189-5000 (near Vergueiro subway station - Vergueiro Street - near the Cultural Center São Paulo)

Home: SEE! Hahaha.... Every day, 24 hours a day, including Saturdays, Sundays and holidays... hahahahaha.... if you want to go to my house, tell me and I send yiou a map!

8. After the surgery I should stay home for about 15 days because I can not drive to go to the office... then you can go to my house if you want.... Bosses Elias and Luciano, please do not worry because I'll be at home, but with the laptop on and checking emails, Skype and MSN.... hehehe...

About the surgery:

1. First: The surgery will be done as part of a treatment protocol. The tumor regressed much even to the point of not being localized, but surgery is needed to ensure that cells that perhaps even keep some remnant of cancer, are eliminated.

2. The principle is a conservative surgery, it will be removed one quadrant of the breast

3. Emptying the axila will also be done

4. The procedure is done under general anesthesia (so that I may come back pretty crazy - or crazier - from surgery... hahaha)

NOW...ACCESS THE BLOG THAT YOU GUYS TOLD ME TO MAKE.... I UPDATE IT FREQUENTLY.... I DON'T WANT TO UPDATE IT JUST FOR ME! HAHAHA... Find a way.... make something!!! Make robot to access the blog..... hahaha .... http://ocancermefezumapessoamelhor.blogspot.com/

THE ENGLISH VERSION IS ALREADY RUNNING!!!! :-)

OXOXOXOXOOXOX

Bia

Help at mealtimes

When I started treatment, a large question mark hung over the food issue... Because I did not know if I could eat everything or not... How should I feed... Or if there was some kind of restriction.

In addition to the medical guidelines, another important aid was the book "Comida Que Cuida” (Food That takes care) from Sanofi-Aventis that was created in partnership with the Hospital AC Camargo professionals.

This book explains a lot of things and give many tips and delicious recipes!!!

On the Sanofi-Aventis website there is the COLEÇÃO COMIDA QUE CUIDA (COLLECTION FOOD THAT TAKES CARE) for people with cancer, diabetes and heart problems.

"In November 2009,  this Collection was awarded with the 2008 Golden Magnifier - Sustainability Category. The award is a recognition of the importance of the book for patients, health professionals and hospitals throughout the country."

http://www.sanofi-aventis.com.br/live/br/pt/layout.jsp?scat=69786EB2-C23D-43EE-8716-FF7E23D8614B

I have no idea if there is something like that at the international website. The books are in portuguese.

This is an important aid and an affection that can make a difference in delicate moments... Therefore, access, disseminate and take care of people!

J

Walk by the shadow!

One very important thing during the treatment is the use of sunscreen.

First, because the skin is very sensitive and burns very easily... when I get the sun in parts that are without sunscreen I feel the sun burning the skin... It practically fries! Hahahaha... Then I look like the Muppets' Miss Pig, remember? All pink?..... hmmm... I think that I’ve just told I’m old.... rs

But anyway.... Besides protecting the skin that becomes more sensitive, there is another advantage: protecting the skin constantly make the skin more uniform, it looks much better! I use the Piz Buin factor 30 sunscreen which is great! In addition to protecting, it is not sticky, which personally I think is essential to be used daily... with clothes on... can you imagine the damage that a sticky sunscreen could do to clear and thin clothes?
hahahaha.... okay... okay... I know it will not be tanned... but that is what is availiable for today.... hahahaha...

8a.m. ... Sunday 08/15.... 8 degrees and windy!

Me and the girls at the IBCC race agaisnt the breast cancer... ah... by the way I am the one using mask... kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.....

Gold to the golden ones

From the moment I started to see people I also began to realize that there are people in my life that worth gold... and others that worth silver.

People who worth gold made me see that although I am very independent, I was not alone... I've never been... but you know... in my ignorance I thought and felt as if I had to walk alone.

It was exciting to discover truth, as if in a magic trick, there were people beside me who really loved me and admired me! The feeling was like receiving a prize so big, so great that even today I still do not know the measure of this fortune.

This discovery gave me more strength and joy to face not only the disease, but mainly to see life in a much prettier, happier, more exciting way!!!!!!

People who worth silver are nonetheless equally important.... but perhaps for reasons I do not know these people are distant from me or even disappeared from my life... I do not condemn them, nor judge them... because it is not for me! But I am also grateful to them for making me realize that I must learn to forgive and forget... and especially I have to know how to receive them back when they are ready for me.... or when I'm ready for them.... lol....

These people I hold in the heart... Whether because they taught me something, either because they showed me something.... Or even if they hurt me... Because it is also important to know that life is made of many different experiences! :)

Thanks to all who are, have been or will be part of my life... I am also grateful for the opportunities I have every day!

Last chemo

Yesterday I did the last session of chemotherapy... hehehe... It last a looooooooooong time! I left home 6am in the morning and only came back at 4.30pm!

But okay.... At least this phase of treatment is over... today I already have one of the effects of treatment... hahaha.... That are the red and hot cheeks.... hahahaha ... But I deal with that with moisturizing... It refreshes and hydrates!

As you can see in the pictures below... I did not lie when he said that I'm huge fat.... kkkkkk... But both the doctor and the nurses said that the swelling will decrease a lot when the strongest effects of Decadron pass... yesssssssss! hehehehe....

In the pictures you can also see that I'm quite comfortable during the applications... I won a VIP bracelet to to enter the room of application.... kkkk.... And the tube through which enters the chemo.

It is also important to drink plenty of water for body recover well.

Anyway... Let’s keeping on walking that it is almost in the end! hehehe...

7th Bia's Health News

From: Beatriz

Subject: 7th Bia's Health News

Date: Tue, 5 Oct 2010 15:18:28 -0300

Beloved and cherished,

After another appointment with my doctor I have some news:

1. On the next week I will have the last session of chemotherapy! :) Hehehe...

2. I already have many pre surgery tests requests (which are scheduled to  10/29, 11/01, 11/05 and 11/08)

3. On 11/11 I will go back to my doctor with all these tests results and then we will probably schedule the surgery date (There are a lot of people whose birthdays are in November..... I don't want to hear excuses !!!!! Since I'll not be able to see them... You guys will have to see me!!! I want to hug everyone... But please... Don't squeeze me that much or you will crush what's left of my breasts huh ! Hahahaha ...)

4. After the surgery I will have a rest of about 30 days to recovery (Hey! I deserve that! hehehe...)

5. After healing and everything else, I will start radiotherapy - according to my doctor it should be about 30 sessions of radio ... Daily! Hahahaha.... Going every single day to the hospital will be terrible.... kkk ...

Other stuffs:

1. My hair began to grow again.... They look like a rice plantation.... It is so japanese girl!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaha .....

2. The cilia also began to grow.... I actually had not even noticed that they had fallen that much... hahaha .... But since they were "born" again they enter my eyes ... kkkkk .... They are a little bit weaky.... and they all grow to the wrong side!! I tried taking pictures but my phone camera isn't good .... If anyone wants to donate me a digital camera with good resolution and IS (Image Stabilizer ).... I accept! Hahahahahhahahaha.....

3. I'm a huge fat... Humm.... In fact, I'm ultra-soft.... kkkkk.... According to the doctor I should still take about 3 months to get back to normal because I also still have the surgery to do and I cannot get in heavy physical exercise .... It is a long time !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don’t  aceeeeeeeeeept.... kkkk ..... He said that three months is a good goal ... but ... Seriously!! I it didn't left me a jeans .... The other day I was wearing a pair of them... And the bitch did not closed ..... kkkkkkkkk .... END OF CAREER !!!!!!!! In 34 years in this vital undertaking that has never happened before .... Remember the Woody Woodpecker cartoon? Hahaha ....

4. Upon request, I made a blog ... I'm putting all the information there, curiosities, discoveries, tips etc etc etc. .... Please access and disseminate! Oh... I know.... you guys can't read in Portuguese... But I promise that until the next week I'll provide the English Version!!!!!!!  http://ocancermefezumapessoamelhor.blogspot.com/

OXOXOXOXOOXOX

Bia

The Tongue of Chow Chow

Do you know how the Chow Chow’s (dog) tongue looks like? It's blue ...

Well.... Another reaction that the new chemo has been giving me is a tongue that looks like the tongue of these beautiful and cute puppies.... hahahahahahah... Seriously!

About  three days after application and during 4 or 5 days my tongue is swollen and bluish.... hahahahaha.... Okay.... I'm looking like a little old Chow Chow.... because I'm still bald.... hahaha....

The 5th element

When chemotherapy arrived at the 5th session, the chemical used has changed...

From this chemo on I stopped feeling so sick and vomiting... but in return, the risk of allergy increased a lot... So much that I had to take Decadron the day before applicarion, in the day of application and the day after the application.

The application was a little different.... hahaha .... It hurts a little... And I have a funny reaction to the anti-allergic that is applied at the same time as chemo.... I feel unbearable sleepy, but at the same time I feel like stirring... kkkkk..... So I looked like a mad person… Almost sleeping but could not relax enough to sleep.... And I kept walking backwards and forwards in the room... hahahha... Feeling an almost uncontrollable desire to pull needle from my hand.... kkkkk .... it sounds insane… hahahahaha .....

Besides the allergy risk, this chemo also caused a lot of muscle pain.... It is not unbearable, but it hurts each and every one of the muscles of my (now) fat little body..... hahahaha... Now I know where each of the muscles is located and what each one pushes or pulls.... hahaha ...

The good thing is that the hairs are already growing at this stage... still a bit weak... but I’m no longer bald and gleaming white headed.... hahahahaha .....

Another reaction I had with this chemo was that my taste has changed for about a week... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeverything.... absolutely everything I ate tasted like candy... Even water.... Even salty meat.... hahahhaaha... Can you imagine eating Cheetos, smell the cheese and taste like candy? hahahaha.... ARGH!!! But I think it might one of the best reactions.... Because I've been researching and there are people who feel bitter or metallic taste in the mouth.... so I guess that feeling like candy isn’t that bad, is it? hehehe....

My little fingers, my little fingers... Where are they? Here they are!

I don’t know if you guys know but I have colored fingers.... kkkk ....

When I noticed the finger nails were getting dark, I was worried because no one had told me that this could happen... Then, as always.... I started searching the Internet to see if that was "normal"...

There were some sites that said this might happen... So I waited until the next appointment with the doctor to ask whether this could actually happen.... To my relief, the doctor said that yes, it could happen and that the dark nails would be back to normal after treatment is finished...

It was all that I didn’t want in this life: to be with nails like that for ever, right? hahaha... but okay.... Now I'm used to colored ails.... and they are not all colored... in my case, there are two fingers of my hands and two fingers of my feet.... hahahaha..... everything is very symmetrical.... hahaha.... Look, I put the pictures.... kkkkkkk.....

Ornamental Diving... Hairs

When I started treatment my biggest concern was the hairs... I was pretty mad at myself because I thought it was a great demonstration of weakness... And I never agreed to be weak! But as Karel said (he is my therapist.... I do therapy for some time.... That’s why I am such a happy crazy person... lol) I am a woman... And starting from this principle... It's a normal and expected thing tht I care about my hair... So I accepted that I am a human and female... and normal... hehehe ... or almost normal... lol

As expected, two weeks after the first application of chemotherapy hair began to fall!

The hair fell on flocks.... Enormous wisps! It is unbelievable that a human being has so much hair on the head.... kkkkkk.... It took about 4 days until the thing stopped! The hairs were diving in groups... kkkk... You know, that's show of unity... hehehe ....

When everything has stabilized, there were still remaining a few heroes of the resistance... I asked to cut the longer wires... I was the face (or head) of my grandmother..... kkkkk....

I will not say that this has not impacted... Looking in the mirror and see myself practically bald (I had long hairs, long to the waist... looooong) was very different from anything I had imagined, but was less traumatic than I expected.

Since I knew it would happen, a few weeks before I went with Priscilla to March 25 street (popular shopping street here in SP) and bought several scarves, necklaces and pins to put on the two hats that I had bought from Jacque. It's worth going there! It's a huge variety at very attractive price (about a third part from the mall price).

I started using the accessories on the next week... And can diversify a lot! It is super cool and elegant.... There are times I feel like that Fiat's advertisement baby (the one that says "I am a cat!".... he thinks everyone's looking at him, but are looking at the car).... Because I walk down the street and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeverybody look at me.... hahahahaha.... That’s a shining dream: I am the center of attention wherever I walk.... hahahahahahahha .....

Bellerophon vs Chimera

On 05/17/10 I went to the first session of chemotherapy... I was anxious because I did not know how it was done exactly!

First, a nurse measures blood pressure, temperature and asks how you have been feeling.... If you had any reaction from the last chemo.... She also analyzes the blood test (previously released by the doctor).

Yeah, every time I do chemo, blood tests are required to check if I am not anemic or something, if you are anemic you can’t do the chemo.... That's why I feed well when Sushi (the cat that lives in my stomach) is not shaking.

After that, we go into the application cubicle... it is a nice little room with a comfortable chair (those reclining one) for me.... and one chair for my companion (poor companion because the chair is not one of the confortable ones!)... Tv, remote control, cable TV and nurses calling button.

Then the fight begins Bellerophon (chemo) vs Chimera (malignant nant nant tumor... lol ... A "butterfly" is put in a vein in the hand... The sequence of this phase is: a remedy against sickness... Chemotherapy (2 bags - one red and one white)... and serum.

It sounds easy right? But it takes a looooooooooooooooong time.... the whole process takes about 3 hours... I came out really well from the session, I was not feeling anything.

Only in the late afternoon the stomach began to get a little sick... So I decided to take a walk with Thiby (my dog)... They warned me that the skin would be sensitive and I would have to wear sunscreen, but I didn’t know the effect was so fast!!!!! The next day I was looking like a baboon.... Red faced.... kkkkkk..... And I was feeling such a bad sickness that I could barely drink water.... Toast smell made me sick too.... And so it was until the end of the week.

I confess it was a hard week.... Because I could not eat anything... The only thing that I could eat was lemon popsicle.... OW..... After 3 days feeling sick, I was also very weak because I could not eat, but everything ended!

And the fight against Chimera was only in the beginning.... and there were seven sessions ahead!

The 11 labors of Hercules

Hehehe.... Easy! I know it is the 12 labors of Hercules.... But there were 11 exams that had to do! Almost got there.... lol  But, if the appointment with the anesthetist count, I did 12 labors! I’m so close to this guy named Hercules, but I'm a little less muscular! kkkk ...

To do all these tests (and they had a definite order to be made), I went to the hospital every week (sometimes more than once a week) between 04/06/10 and 05/21/10.

In the meantime I had appointments  withDoc Wesley and it was decided that I would follow a protocol that instead of doing surgery first and then chemotherapy, I would do the opposite (is it because I am japa? Hahaha ....).

This was decided because the tumor grew very fast and for this reason, the possibility reduction was also larger. Antonio told me that in a very didactic way: if the tumor is aggressive it is because it absorbs many nutrients from the body so it will also absorb a lot of chemotherapy. Absorbing more chemotherapy, it dies.

That's right!! As Paulão said.... Let's kill this Son of…..!! kkkkk ....

I started to see people

One of the things that changed a lot with all these emotions in my life, was the fact that I started to see people.

I have always greeted everyone... From strangers on the street until the big boss of the company... But I discovered that I was always very polite (of course! My mother doesn’t deserves to discover that I had left the education she had given me in the drawer... lol)... However, such education did not give me sensibility to see people.

I greeted everyone... But I could not see anyone!

It wasn’t lack of estimation... It was not recognizing another human being in other people.

Suddenly, every person I greeted and wished a good day, it was really honest desire that person had a good day and that he/she was happy from that moment and forever!

Previously I was ashamed... Ashamed to look ugly... Ashamed of not speak well... Ashamed that I’m not as perfect as I thought I should be... But now it is different... Why?

Because from the moment I see people with qualities and undeveloped qualities (no defects.... defects are undeveloped qualities.... lol) I can also be a person like that right?

Now I've got no shame.... or I should say.... Pride... Because when we feel ashamed because it is because we don’t want to seem ridiculous... And that is pride!

Claudia said the one day that I was more loving with friends (with friends... because with boyfriends I've always been a stupid of so loving person)... hahahaha... And I think she is right.... I'm more sweet because I feel I have the privilege of having such amazing human beings in this journey called life!

I think that today I’m a little confused and apologetic (that word exist? Hahaha ....). But it's true!! Trust me !!!!!

It's fantastic looking at a person... Greet he/she from the heart and see that the person can feel it is from your heart ... And he/she will return your desire for a good day! (Usually he/she returns .... but you can eventually find a zombie as I was.... hahahaha....) Try this! Then tell me!